Aries
(March 21 - April 20)
Question: did you come here to find out about an Aries in your life? The deep, dark mystery of what makes them tick? Sorry to disappoint, but you might as well just ask them: they’ll tell you the truth, though you might not like the way it comes out. Candid, spontaneous, firey, don’t give it to an Aries if you can’t take it back. Puppy-like in their enthusiasm and playfulness, they’ll be baffled if their verbal jabs or erratic actions wound you: can’t you see they’re just playing?
Aries is always off to the next big thing. They are adventurers, first and foremost. New things, people, experiences: keep them on their toes and you’ll keep them in your life. They have no patience for day-to-day boring people, just as they have no patience for day-to-day boring reality.
Biggest Insult: I find you dull and predictable.
Quickest Way to Get Aries into Bed: Dare them to fuck you.
Most likely to: Bolt. Mock you. Make you laugh until you throw up. Disappear and show up three days later as though nothing happened.
Should have been born: Five minutes from now, or whenever the “next big thing” hits.
To Make Aries Forgive You: Make them laugh. Give them five minutes.